Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize
