I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
