He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
