I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
