Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize