You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
