Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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