you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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