It's Friday. Sex?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Randomize