I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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