you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
