You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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