Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Randomize
