Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Randomize
