shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
