It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
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