Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
