i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Enjoy the penises
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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