I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
