dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
