My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
This couple is walking their pig around campus
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize