i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
