I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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