I wish you could order shots online.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Randomize
