I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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