Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
