Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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