NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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