I don't think brook has ever known best
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
handjob tips. give me some.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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