Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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