bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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