I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize
