sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize