All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
