That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
