who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
