hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
