So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
