thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
