ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize