my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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