Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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