he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Randomize
