Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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