i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
