Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Randomize
