Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
