he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
