i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
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