Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
