Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
