I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
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