I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Four minutes until I can fart!
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
i now understand why vodka
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
