So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Even my vagina gasped.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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