sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Randomize
