Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
