I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
There's always time for handjobs
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
