his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
