Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
