Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Randomize