mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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