what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I cockslap morals
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
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