I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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