You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
