can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
